I’m feeling alllll of the feels today: excitement at teaching yoga (anyone want to come over for a quick practice, like, right now??); overwhelming love for the other eight newly minted yoga teachers and our two fearless leaders; gratitude for the body — my body — that supported me through this process; and, perhaps most acutely, tremendous sadness that the journey has come to a close.
I never said this out loud to the group of women assembled for the first time back in March, but when I walked into this training seven months ago, I crossed the threshold already sad that our training was going to end in mid-October. Walking into that training in March, I knew in my heart that I was about to find my tribe, to feel completely seen and accepted by a group of women for, quite literally, the first time in my life. I journaled about my incredible excitement to meet them before I left for our first training module. I knew we were destined to cultivate and grow something genuinely life-changing. And I was right: This experience has changed my life.
Going in, I expected this training would allow me to guide other women along the path towards body acceptance and self-care. I wanted to learn more about yoga and how to make various poses work in my body. I thought our focus would be on building strength, flexibility, and knowledge. In this respect, I was dead wrong.
Yoga teacher training instead turned out to be a journey within, a process of speaking my truth — first, to the tribe assembled at our four training modules; slowly, over the last seven months, to the world at large. It turns out, yoga poses are a teeny tiny portion of what it means to “do yoga.” I just … I seriously never understood this until I began this journey, and I don’t know that it fully hit me until just a few weeks ago.
I was on a coaching call for Feast (check it out here) a few days ago, and when it came time for my weekly check-in, I started by saying, “I am … great. I feel so good.” In those moments, the leader of Feast (the incomparably empathic Rachel Cole) said, “You are so full right now. I can hear it in your voice.” So true. So true.
Yoga teacher training, and all the work it has brought into my life — in subtle and not-so-subtle ways — has filled my bucket to bursting. I think my heart has doubled in size. I know my awareness has.
So, yes. If you’re reading this, I’m ready to teach you yoga poses. But more than anything, I hope the light in me honors the light in you, always, regardless of whether or not we’re on yoga mats at the moment.