“He’s just not that into you.”

This has been a great day for thought-provoking Internet finds!

Here’s a fantastic article from today’s Washington Post about a book called, “He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys,” by Greg Behrendt.

{snip}

There’s plenty of dating advice, God knows, and most of it is for women trying to deconstruct the hearts of men. The premise, of course, is that men are complicated, emotionally stunted creatures incapable of direct action. And so women spend years obsessing with understanding girlfriends, wildly hoping that deep down he’s really in love and wants to be with them. Even if he doesn’t pick up the phone. Oh, wait — even if he can’t reach into his pocket and dial his cell phone, which is otherwise glued to his adorable ear.

When a guy is truly interested in a woman, he pursues her. That’s the way it’s always been, he says, and equality hasn’t changed it. And so Behrendt strips away the excuses: If a man is into you, he’ll ask you out. (In fact, Behrendt believes no woman should ask out a man who hasn’t asked her out first.) He will call, no matter now busy, because you’ll be a bright spot in his day. He will want to have sex with you, and will stop having sex with other women. He will want to be with you when he’s sober, not just to party. If he’s really, really into you he’ll want to marry you. He’s not into you if he’s breaking up with you, or disappearing with no explanation, or married to someone else, or abusive.

{/snip}

I came to the same basic conclusion on my own a few months ago, and living by the “JNTIY” philosophy can change a woman’s life, let me tell you.

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1 Comment

  1. So. Um. I'm NOT suppose to ask a guy out first? What if he's SHY!?!? I like shy men! They listen and I talk!!! If this is true, I've blown it many, many, many…. many times. 🙁

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