It has taken me most of the day to recover the details — details I won’t share here, and quite possibly will never share with anyone at all — but it’s clear to me now that, no matter how clearly I understand the situation in the plain light of day, the heart wants what the heart wants quite without regard to what objective reality may be.
I may have to live with the fact that the things I want most in this world can only be mine in my (literal) dreams. But it’s not enough, really. Not when the beauty and love flowing freely in those dreams convinces me that this heart of mine is destined for tremendous, life-altering, consuming passion. How can I can be denied the very thing I have been created to give?